It all began last year. I met Micky first. Micky was always, how can I put this politely, fucked up. His nerves had been shot to pieces over the years through excesses. Micky has the most addictive personality of anyone I ever met. I have never know a person like him and I am sure I never will again. Micky was edgy, nervous, confused. He couldn't even decide to buy a cup of coffee without thinking through all the possibilities first. Now I know what you're thinking, how does someone as level headed as me, get herself involved in a screw up like him. Well I often wonder that myself, then I remember why. You can't help yourself when it comes to loving Micky, he's an innocent. He has this way of making you see life in a new way, makes you believe in yourself. Call me optimistic but I know that we all need that. Micky wanted to be loved, no questions. I could sense it in his eyes the moment I met him.

One year earlier………..

I had been working for Jake for almost six weeks when the cracks began to appear in our relationship. Things began to turn sour. Jake was a joke. He believed he was God, I'm convinced of that. Sorry, I shoulda have said before, I'm a singer. That is all I have ever wanted to do, all I have ever been good at. Jake had taken me on, promising bigger and better things for my career. Well this evolved into nothing excpet singing in a smoke filled bar five nights a week and allowing him a quick fuck, all in the name of fame. Now some of you reading this will, I'm sure, been thinking "stupid girl" but I was acting with a clear mind. I'm not some naïve kid who can be used and abused. I know how to get ahead in this business and I will freely step on anyone toes to get there. If that means shagging some low-lifes on the way up then that is what you have to do.

Anyway this time I had made a mistake. Jake was no more an associate of any record producer than I was Marilyn Monroe. I was ready to get outta there.

"Fuck off, Jake. That's it I'm leaving."

"You can't walk out now, JJ we had an agreement."

I walked around from the other side of the bar to collect my coat. He wasn't going to treat me like that. No-one treats Jessica Jacobs like that!

"It's over Jake, you promised me the world. Well let me tell you, the showbiz world looks pretty damn small when you're lying on your back in a darkened room."

A few of the customers looked up from their beers. All useless fucks, interested in the scene that was unveiling before their eyes. Each one had a sly smile creeping across their drunken faces.

"JJ….You leave and that's it. You will never work in this town again."

"Oh please, you can come up with something better than that, surely."

Silence. I knew I had won, Jake was a asshole with the brains to match. He turned and headed back to the grease filled cesspit he called a kitchen. I picked up my bag and walked out the door without a word to anyone.

Yet again, I had landed myself in it. No place to stay, no money and no career. Despite my tough exterior I couldn't help but cry. Please, please don't feel sorry for me. I tell ya, if I had a dime for the number of people who have pitied me, I would be very rich by now.

Sitting on that park bench, I was aware that I wasn't alone. Someone was watching me. You know when someone is staring at you, you get a senstation of eyes on your back. Well I was getting that extact same feeling right now and it was really being to piss me off.

"What!!!" I yelled turning around to be confronted by a young man.

"I'm sorry," replied a frightened voice. "I wasn't meant to scare you but you looked kinda upset and I wanted to know, if you were ok?"

"I'm fine."

"It's just that you……"

"Look, kid. I don't wanna sound rude but I ain't no damsel that needs rescuing ya know."

I looked over at the boy who had sat next to me. He certainly was good looking, kinda skinny but cute definitely. His hair was unruly mop sitting on his head, a little too long, covering those nervous brown eyes. His face boar a wide mouth that was missing it's usual grin. He seemed kinda edgy, moving about on the bench, not keeping still for a moment. This, I was to later find out, was normal for Micky. I started to feel a bit guilty for the harsh way I had spoken to him. As he got up to leave I called him back.

"Hey….Hey wait up."

"Yes."

"Look, I'm sorry about before. I do tend to be on the defensive at times."

"That's ok." He began to walk again.

"So, where you headin' then?"

"Nowhere really," he replied scratching his head and looking at me with longing eyes. Maybe he was lonely like me. Maybe I should stop putting up that barrier that seperates me from the rest of civilisation and actually start interacting with people again.

"Fancy getting' a cup of coffee?"

"Sure." He reached over and picked up my bag for me.

We found a small secluded café down the street. I ordered for us both and found a small table next to the window. I always loved to sit where I can watch the world go by. I used to play this game with my Dad when I was little, at guessing where people where going and what they did.

"So….I'm sorry I don't even know you're name."

"It's Micky and you are?"

"Just call me JJ, everyone else does."

"JJ that's cool." He smiled. A smile that changed the whole personna of his face. His eyes shone and crinkled at the corners, this is gonna sound corny but Micky has a smile that light's up a room.

"So Micky….you from round here?"

"Yeah….all my life. Started a band a couple of years back. Me and three guys."

This information made me sit up and take notice. If he had a successful band, what's to say he didn't have a manager with connections.

"Really, so music is your life then?"

"Yeah, but that's gone now, I mean the band split. But we still play, well me and Mike do anyway."

"Mike."

"Yeah, he's my best friend. After the other two left Mike and I decided to carry on, we still play the clubs but nothing like the places we ust'a."

My face fell, why did I only ever met hasbeens and losers. Still he had been succesful before, maybe there was still a chance. But would that be fair? As I look over at the face across from me, I began to think that I wasn't just interested in him for career advice. He had a warm presence that engulfed me, kept me interested in what he was saying, wanting to spend more time with him.

"I'm a singer myself." I replied, trying to keep my thoughts on the conversation.

"Wow! Seems funny that we would just chance on meeting like this."

"Hey come on, it's not that uncommon. Everyone in Hollywood is either an actress or singer right."

Micky laughed. "Yeah, or trying to be one anyway and usually failing." He looked over at my fallen face, quickly repsonding:

"Oh I didn't mean you. I am sure that you have a fantastic voice."

He smiled again, I wish he'd stop doing that. My stomach was knotting itself up and I could feel my face begin to flush.

"Shall we take a walk?" I suggested.

"Ok."

As we stepped outside, the street lamps were glowing a dusky orange. The sun long since set and the streets were almost stripped of people. We walked along, neither of us speaking. I kept glancing at Micky to get some sort of reaction from him, but his face stayed stone.

"Well this is where I say goodbye I guess." I said as I went to wait for the bus. I knew I could stay at my friend's for the night and I didn't want to leave it to late before showing up.

"D'ya hav'ta go?" he was almost pleading with me to stay. What was wrong with this kid, he only met me a few hours ago.

"Yeah…It was nice meeting you Micky."

"You too." He went to shake my hand. Before I could really comprehend what was happeneing our lips had met. I pushed him up against the wall, forcing my tongue to explore his mouth. He responded eagerly slipping inside my coat and placing his hands firmly on my back.

Quickly without thinking, I guided him down the alleyway behind the bus stop. His hands moved quickly, down my back and across my waist. Running his fingers through my hair and kissing me fervently that I had to stop myself from coming. Hitching up my skirt he slipped his finger inside. I pulled him close as his throbbing member was exposed to the night air. As I felt him enter me, I let out a soft moan that echoed around the alley.

He kissed me again and the passion mounted, he certainly was strong despite his skinny appearance, we moved together again and again before coming simultaneously. He kissed my face again, breathing hard in my ear. I could feel him tremble slightly as we stood together for a moment. I pulled my skirt down and picked up my bag.

"Well, see ya."

"You goin'. Just like that. Wait JJ, I wanna see you again."

"I'm not sure that such a good idea Micky. I'm not a nice girl, I don't want the whole flowers and candy dating game. It's just not me."

I kissed him on his cheek.

"You're wonderful, I had a great time but I have to go now," and with that I left him standing there alone by the bus stop.