Somewhere in New Orleans...

Lying in my bed, looking out the window, hearing the sounds of love. That is where I spent my day. I was as lonely as ever, and my heart seemed to break. I could feel it. I didn't get any visitors, all the other
girls did, and they were happy in their little nests of love making, while I tried to sleep, and had to
listen to it. I was never usually jealous. My customers were never frequent, but at that moment I
wanted one to fall for.

I closed my eyes and wanted to fall asleep in the lazy day.

"Monica,"
"I told you I would pay you back as soon as I got a customer, Ray Lynn."
"No, honey, come down stairs,"
"Okay,"

I got out of bed and adjusted my night gown. She smiled, and we both walked down the stairs. All the
girls had congregated around four men. This I had seen before. I didn't want to go down onto the floor,
because I knew as soon as I picked one, Suzette would steal him. Ray Lynn pulled me to the front, pushing Suzette out of the way with her foot.

"You won't steal her chance!" Ray Lynn whispered, pushing me up to one of them. He had curly hair and a blank stare on his face.

"Hi," I said.
"Hi, I'm Micky.
"Neffie, nice to meet you,"
"Are you Hindu?"
"No, I'm Hispanic,"
Micky stroked his chin. "I'd think you'd better talk to Mike."

Ray Lynn dragged me over to a blonde haired man as she bumped Suzette out the way with her butt.

I smiled, "Hi."
"I"m Peter, what's yours?"
"Neffie,"
"Are you Native American?"
"No."
"You look Native American."
"I'm Hispanic."
"Talk to Mike,"
I could have smacked him, but I didn't know him. She then dragged me over to another man, with brown hair, and amazingly clean nails.

"Hi,"
"I'm David,"
"Neffie,"
"Are you..."
"I'm not Hindu or Native American!"
"No, from Spain?"
"I'm Hispanic born in America!"
"Talk to Mike."

I almost belted the short bastard. Ray Lynn drug me one more time. This time, a tall man with brown hair,
and dark brown almost hazel eyes. He smiled at me, and the minute Suzette tried to slither between us, Ray Lynn kicked her in the crotch.

"Hi, I'm Neffie, I'm not Hindu, I'm not Native American, and I'm not from Spain. Not personally
anyway, and all your friends said because I was Hispanic that I should talk to you."
"I'm Michael and I'm from Texas, and I'm white, and I wasn't going to ask, plus it doesn't matter if you are
or not."

"HEY, WHY THE FUCK DID YOU KICK ME IN THE CROTCH!" Suzette yelped.

Ray Lynn walked over to her, and as she did, Michael pulled me into his arms. I snuggled close, and then
Ray Lynn reared back.

"I wish you would stop stealing her opportunities. She has to eat too."
"She's a little tramp. She doesn't even charge that much."
"So what, at least she's got dignity, most of which you lost a long time ago."

Michael pulled me with him into the middle of the fight. He glared at the both of them.
"Now you, young lady," he gave Ray Lynn a look,"are admirable. This girl is your friend, and you've stuck
by her. Now is the time to stop lowering yourself to this girl's level. As for you, stop messing with
Neffie. She's my personal girl and you can't take me from her."

And with that, he led me up the stairs, and I led him to my room. He closed the door.

"How do you lock this thing?"

I stood up and cracked the knob, once to the left, once to the right. He smiled.

"No one can open it but me." I said.
"Or lock it,"
"Yep." I said, and lay down with my hands behind my head. He sat down on the bed next to me, and he
stroked my hair.
"How much do you charge?"

I took a deep breath. "Like, fifteen bucks."

"Why only fifteen?"
"Cause it's only me and I don't need a whole lot." He sat up and dug around for his wallet. "Hey, no, stop
it. Wait for a while. Let's see how it goes."
"Oh, well," he scratched his head. "See, I have fifteen bucks, but I don't think that's enough."
"No, just fifteen." I bit my lip. "Did you really mean I was your personal girl?"
"Yeah. Whenever I'm in town that is,"
"Oh." I sat back.
"So, what would you like to do?" He asked.
"I guess what I get paid for," I said, covering myself. I had gone back to my cocoon.

"Oh, Neffie," He said, and leaned over my body. He leaned farther in and kissed my neck, then he moved
the strap of my nightgown and kissed my shoulder. "Don't mope, it's okay. I'm sorry."

I turned over and he touched my lips.

"Why are you sorry?" Tears streamed down my face. His lips pouted.
"How old are you, sweetness?"
"Can you hold me?"
"Sure," and he put his arms around me.
I took a deep breath. "I'm seventeen."
He didn't let me go. "I can't make love to you, then."
"Why the hell not?"
"Well, because, you're, you're,"
"A kid?"

He cuddled me. He touched my face, staring at me, pulling the strap from my night gown back up. I closed my eyes, I wasn't good enough, and he was amazing. He closed his eyes, he took a deep breath, and then he started to sing:

"There's a light in the doorway
There's a light in the hall
But the light in your window
Is the brightest of all
There are lights in the city
There are lights in the skies
But the light in your window
Are the lights in my eyes...."

He opened his eyes and looked down at me. I was still crying a bit. I wanted to know if there was something wrong, because in the soft light of the sunset, he was holding me, and singing. He took off his shirt at one point, and took off my nightgown, but he only put his head to my chest and sighed. He snuggled my skin, and his sideburns tickled me. His nose and lips were snuggled under my left breast, and he kissed the dark space under it. I held him then, and we watched the sun leave the sky, and stars come to sleep.

"You're so beautiful,"
 
And he fell asleep.

* * *

The next morning, I woke up to find a note and fifty dollars wrapped up in his shirt. I put the shirt on
and pocketed the fifty dollars. I sighed when I opened up the envelope. He had probably written that he never wanted to see me again. I unfolded the pink paper, seeing that it was my stationary. I giggled, and in his muffled but neat handwriting I read,

Neffie,

Hope you slept well. I certainly did. I wanted to thank you for last night ,and say that you are a sweet
girl. You really made my day when you let me take care of you like that. I'm married, so I don't get a lot of
chances to hold a girl and just be with her. My wife can be such a pain, but that doesn't matter. I want to
see you again, and it won't be long before we come back. So just be good for me, and I'll see you in a
few weeks.

Love your personal man,
Michael Nesmith
P.S. You're welcome for the shirt.

I smiled. I said thank you out loud, and proceeded to get dressed. I didn't want to take off the shirt,
because I knew that if I came down wearing it, someone had to give me respect.

"Hey!" Ray Lynn shouted, she was having breakfast with Pauline.
"Hi," I said, and we faked kissed each other. "Good morning, Pauline."
"Hi, what happened last night?"

I smiled. I strode down the staircase and sat next to Ray Lynn and Pauline. They both eyed me. I smiled,
very content.

"Was he good? He looked good. I could see his package through his jeans." Pauline said.
"Well, tell us what the hell happened?" Ray Lynn strained.
"Well, first off, I tried to offer him sex. I did, and well, then he asked my age. I told him. He got all
moral on me. I was crying for a minute, so he held me and sang to me. He took off his shirt, and my
nightgown...."
"Yeah?" Ray Lynn said.
"And fell asleep on my bare chest, with a huge smile on his face."
Their faces dropped. "You just talked and slept?"
I nodded and took a swig of my coffee. "That's the size of it. He gave me fifty bucks, though."
"Fifty?"
"Yeah."
They eyed each other now. "So, he paid you to comfort him?"
"Sure, I guess. All I know is I'm going out to buy myself some new clothes."
"Well, Madame Spy wants to see you." Ray Lynn almost didn't want to say it.
I gulped,"Why?"
"Because, and believe me it's not the age thing, she used to care but now she doesn't. She just..."
"I just want to plead with you."
I turned around. "Madame, what would you like to plead with me about?"
She raised an eyebrow. "Come here my small child,"
I stood up walked to her, she engulfed me in her embrace, her long slender fingers running in my hair.
"Don't leave us."
"Why would I, Madame, I love you all, well, except Suzette."
"Suzette went home," Madame said, pushing me away enough to look at my face. "She wasn't exactly a nice person."
"Okay, but why do you think I'll leave?"
She sighed. "He's declared you his own, and that is a relationship in this house. He'll try to wed you, and
he'll try to take you,"

"Madame, we didn't even explore, he just wanted someone to hold him."

Madame's eyes exploded open. "You still must be careful!"

I looked at her and almost cried. "I'm sorry, Madame."

"It's fine, little girl, just go about your day. He's your client now. You'll have to charge more than just
fifteen."
"He gave me fifty."
"C'est Vrai? Did he?"
"Oui Maman, he did."

Madame's eyes danced in her head. Her pale cheeks drew colour, and her hands grabbed my face.

"Ma Petite Ange, you have to keep him. He's good for business,"
"Oui, I will Maman,"

She nodded and her slim figure cloaked in black, swung back and forth up the stairs. When she had closed her bedroom door, I smiled at Ray Lynn and Pauline. Then I ran out the front door.

The street was busy, and my mind was buzzing. I had money and a purpose. I ran to the first shop I saw,
once I was far enough from the house. I walked in, hiking up my jeans that didn't fit, and tightening my
moccasins that slid off my feet. I strode through the clothing, finding everything to be beautiful and out
of my range. I knew the clothes would have to wait, so I just browsed. I touched everything, and then I felt
something soft and green. I took it off the rack and examined it. The dress was long enough, wide enough, and was my favourite colour. It was also twenty dollars. I knew I had to have the dress. I ran to the cash register with it.

"Hello, I would like to buy this dress please," I smiled. The woman at the desk gave me a look.
"And what will you be using as payment?"
"Money."
"What kind?"
"Paper money."
"Are you being smart?"
"You asked me what kind of money I was paying with, right?"
"I did,"
"So," I took out my change purse and took out twenty dollars of my money. "Here it is, paper money."
She smiled. "You are just a girl, aren't you?"
"I'm old enough to pay for this." and I pointed to the dress I had set down in front of her.

She took the dress, and glancing at the tag, put the amount into the register. I put my hands behind my
back, and rocked on my heels waiting for her to be finished.

"Twelve eighty-four."
"Twelve? It says twenty."
She smiled, "I assure you, it says twelve."

I handed her my twenty and she gave me my change. She wrapped up my dress and handed it to me.

 "I'm not sure your mother wanted you to spend your whole allowance on a dress, right?"

I smiled, and almost bursted into laughter. "Yeah, you're right. She said to be careful,"

The woman patted my hand. "You enjoy your dress."

"Thank you very much."
"Sure,"
I began to walk away. "Miss?"
"Yeah?"
"You almost forgot you change purse,"
I ran back and she handed it to me. "Thanks,"
"Sure."

I walked out with my new dress, beaming. I looked down at my moccasins and realized how badly I needed shoes. I was very grateful to her, maybe she knew how ugly my shoes were and thought that if I had extra money I could get new ones. I shrugged and ran to the shoe store I always went to. I never bought anything, but now I could.

The bell on the door rang as I walked in, my dress under my arm. I smiled at the young man behind the
register. He smiled back.

"Can I help you?"
"I just need a good pair of girly shoes." I said.
"Girly? Like heels?"
"Well, yeah. But, more like boots,"
"What are you going to wear them with?"
I looked down at my package. "A green velvet dress."
The young man led me to a shelf and took a box off it. He opened it up and inside were a pair of brown
sandals.
"You shouldn't wear boots with a dress, these will look much better."
"Sure, thanks, how much?"
"They are ten dollars with tax."
"Okay," I nodded, "I can dig ten."

We walked back to the register. He took my shoes and put them in a bag and I paid the ten. I ran out of
there as well, and ran straight home. Ray Lynn was there, talking to a new customer.

I had started up the stairs when Ray Lynn said, "Neffie, come meet John."
"Can't it wait, I just bought a new dress,"
"Come on, meet John, he's a nice man."

I reluctantly put down my purchases and walked to Ray Lynn. "John Lennon, this is Neffie,"

"Hi, what's a baby like you doin' in a brothel?"
"Well, I work here. I have a client. I am going to change now, good-bye,"
Ray Lynn tugged on me again, "Don't be rude. John is talking to you."
"I'm sorry, Ray, but I want to know if my dress fits so I can wear it for Michael, he's coming back in a
few weeks."
John came closer and touched my face. "Who's Michael?"
"Michael Nesmith. He's my personal man. I'm not supposed to have any others,"
"I know Michael, he's a friend." John said, fixing his round sliver frames. "He's stayed with me a few times
in London."
"Sure, nice. Why?"

John smiled and pulled me to him. He gave me a huge hug.

"Just be careful. He's not exactly marriage material."
"But he's married."
"I know, but I didn't say he was faithful."
"I knew that, but, what do you mean, that he'd mess around with a lot more women?"

Ray Lynn smiled. What the hell was she doing? I wasn't comfortable.

"Ray, what's wrong with you?" I asked, and pushed away from John.
"Nothing is wrong, I just wanted you to meet John, he's my client."
"But if you have a client, Ray, that means, that, you, and Madame has to,"
"Madame has to give me a place in her harem."
"But the harem is, I'm not even allowed there. Ray Lynn, are you trying to take money from me?"

John's face soured. "You take money from her if you go to the harem?"

"The girls in the harem get a percentage of their pupils profit. She's my pupil. I never have to ask for
money again the way she's getting paid."

My face turned ten shades of white. I ran to the stairs and grabbed my stuff. How could Ray Lynn do
this? I ran to my room, put my stuff down, then ran into Madame's room.

"Madame! Ray Lynn has a client, you're going to put her in the harem, aren't you?"

I threw myself on her bed. She saw that I had started to cry. She pulled me off one side onto her lap,
stroking my hair.

"Maman, why did she do that?"

Madame sighed. "I will not give her a position in the harem. She only assumes it."

"But Madame, she taught me this, and you know the rules, you made them."

"Neffie, ma bon petite fille, listen to me. I won't let her take all your money. We all know that Ray Lynn
should know better with her experience with her mentor. Her mentor took everything, but do you see Carmella anymore? No. I kicked her out. I will not let her leave you broke."

I looked up from my tears. I saw how much she cared in her eyes, and she told me to go about my day again, adding that Michael was coming to see me the next week. I was very happy.

* * *

I stood in the window wearing my green dress. I had pressed it, and shined my sandals. I guess I looked
alright. I watched Michael and Micky walk into the house, I felt like maybe he'd forgotten just how sweet
and loving he'd been the first time we met. Maybe he was different. A lot can happen in a few weeks. I
shook my head of these thoughts and ran down the stairs. Michael put down his bags and put out his
arms.

"Come here, you."

I smiled and ran into his arms. He squeezed me tight, while Micky looked on with a huge smile. I let go of
him, but he still held my hand, making sure I was near. I smiled, and still, he pulled me close to him,
holding me tight.

"Now what's been going on with you?"
"A lot, but, you know, nothing important."

He huffed. "Well, sure, everything is important."

I looked down at the brown straps wrapping my feet into a neat little package. He looked down with me,
and kissed my head. Micky was greeted and waved goodbye to Michael. We both were staring down at
nothing, all because I was afraid to tell him about what happened.

"Well," He said. "You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to,"
I nodded. "Let's go up to bed, huh? You've got to be tired from the trip."
"Sure," and he grabbed me up. "I'll carry you,"
"What about your stuff?"
"Who'll mess with it?"
"No one, but what if you need your clothes?"

He wanted to agree, but then he just ran with me up the stairs. I saw Madame's right hand man pick up
Michael's things and follow us up the stairs. He left them by the door and Michael put me down. Michael
poked his head out to say thank you, but as usual, Oswald was gone. Michael closed the door, cracked it to the left, then to the right. He'd remembered.

I sat down on the bed, and kicked my sandals off. He came and lay next to me, snuggling into my pillows.
 
"Are you actually going to sleep?"
"No," He said. "I'm just getting comfortable,"
"And then you'll fall asleep?" He sat up on his elbows.
"No. I won't fall asleep. Come here and lie on top of me." I got onto my knees. I straightened out my dress.
"With your dress off."

I unzipped the side of the velvet dress, and watched his expression as my skin began to peek out of it. I
took off my dress, and was wearing no bra or panties. I lay down on top of him, feeling his heart beating
fast in his chest. I kissed his neck and sent shivers through him. I could feel when my weight began to
settle on him.

"What, you told me to take my dress off and lay on you."
He pulled me down under him.

"I knew I couldn't be strong. I knew that if I could just feel your skin that my will power would be gone,
and it wouldn't matter how old you were."

I touched his face, he started taking off all his clothes and when he was done he lay down on top of me,
kissing me. I ran my fingers through his hair, feeling how warm and cold his kisses were. He lifted up his
head and looked into my eyes. He took his leg and slowly separated my legs with a bent knee. I reached
to touch his face, and my fingertips grazed his thick sideburns. He kneeled between my legs and kissed my lips.

"What's wrong?" I said, his eyes were filled with confusion.
"Nothing now. Nothing now that I've realized I should have made love to you."

"Here we are, close enough to it."

I kissed him, slipping my tongue past his teeth. I pulled him down onto me, where his body would still
not surrender. He pulled away and kissed my shoulders, traveling down my torso, I could feel him going lower, and feel him kissing my inner thighs. I started to gasp, I could feel his lips touch me, I could feel his breathing become harder, I could I feel his tongue slipping inside, and his mouth kissing me. I started
to moan, I wailed and squeezed my eyes shut. He picked up my legs and placed them on his shoulders, I gyrated on his mouth, squealing and screaming. He came up and let my lower half down on the bed.

He wiped his mouth and lay down on me again. I smiled and we kissed. He touched my face, distracting me from the world, distracting me from his actions, and without a warning I felt him in me. He started pumping and all I could do was hold on. I cried out his name and could think of nothing but how my entire body seemed to be on pins and needles. I could feel him getting softer, and I could feel myself finding some end to it, the sensation of an orgasm that I knew so well, but never achieved. I started to breath harder and deeper, and I could feel my body convulse and my legs start to shake. I opened my eyes to see his eyes shut closed, humping himself into oblivion. He held onto the head board with one hand and my right buttock with the other.

He started to wail, I could feel the warm fluid start to flow out of him, but it hadn't yet bursted. The
sensation I felt got stronger and stronger, until it felt as if we had set each other's sex organs on fire.
I started to yell, yell out all my pleasure and frustration, and without paying attention I burst and
threw myself back, screaming his name out into the night. I lay there as he came, yelling out his
satisfaction in a caveman like grunt. I giggled. He rolled off of me and we tried to catch our breath.

He pulled me close, the heat coming of our bodies in waves.

"Kiss me," and he pulled my mouth to his quickly and forcefully.

My sweaty skin stuck to his. I noticed we hadn't closed the curtain, but I didn't care. No one would
see us anyway. Suddenly someone came running up the stairs, pounding on the door. I jumped up, ran to my closet and pulled on my kimono. Michael shot up.

"What's going on?"
"I don't know, I have go down stairs to see,"
"Wait just a minute, let me get my jeans on!"

He grabbed his jeans with his boxers still in them. He pulled them up and we ran out of the room, he was
still buckling his belt. Ray Lynn had been banging on the door. Michael grabbed my hand, determined not to loose me in everyone's confusion.

"Ray, what happened?"

Ray Lynn turned around solemnly. She had tears in her eyes.

"Madame died."

I covered my face in horror. Michael pulled me into his embrace and I started to ball in his arms. I
wanted to know what from.

"How, what happened?"
"Oswald, he poisoned her."

* * *

Oswald's motivation was to become the head of the house. But as he poisoned Madame, Isabelle had walked in to say goodnight to her mother. She caught Oswald giving her mother the last drops of strychnine out of a small bottle. Her mother was obviously dead, he was just using out the liquid, holding the bottle with a napkin. He hadn't seen the horrified teenager, and she ran down the stairs and called the police. She was panicking, and Ray Lynn tried to calm her, but all she kept saying was that Oswald had poisoned her mother.

Oswald was still out there, he had escaped before the inspector had gotten to the house, not really taking
the lot of us seriously. We were all disgusted, but the woman rookie had promised to try and find the man.

As it read in Madame Spy's will, none of us were allowed to attend her funeral, except for Isabelle.
Her family had no idea she had run a brothel, or let her daughter grow up in one. On that day I sat in my
window, crying my eyes out. She had been my mother, because no one else wanted the job. We weren't sure how we were going to go on. The head of the house was now Isabelle, who was twenty six. I had to remind Isabelle of her mother's promise to me.

"My mother told you she would watch Ray Lynn, and I will do the same for you, sister,"
"You've never been mean toward me." I said.
"I have been watching out for your well being since you got here. We grew up in this place, what makes you think I wouldn't want to honor our mother's wish?"
"Of course, Isabelle."

I sat down on the bed. Isabelle eyed me, the way I was sitting and the look in my eyes.

"You're in love."

I smiled deep. "Yes, I am. My client, he's not like any other man,"

Isabelle slid down to where I was sitting. She put a loving arm around me and hugged me.

"I know Maman wasn't going to let anyone fall in love with their client. But I don't care what happens with
you two, as long as he stays your client."

"I don't want to marry him, Isabelle, I can't."

"Then you do want to!"

"So I do, but I can't."

Isabelle squeezed me once more. "Then don't."

I walked out of her bedroom and down the stairs, feeling like a huge part of my world had been
reconstructed. I walked out of the house and down the sidewalk, seeing all the smiles that painted the faces of people's happiness. I shoved my hands into my pockets and endured the day.

My mind was on seven things at once, and I usually never did anything but smoke, but I had no cigarettes
with me, and the bar down the way served me when I asked nicely. I started walking faster, making my way through people, tasting the alcohol, and the taste of numbed emotion.

I stepped inside, and fingered my change purse. I walked up to counter and sat, where my friend Darren
stood, wiping glasses and setting them behind the bar. I rested my head on my hands and stared at him. He smiled and stopped.

"Hi Neffie."
"Hi Darren."
"What's going on?"
"Madame died. She was poisoned."
Darren's jaw dropped. "How? Do they know who did it?"
I sighed. "Oswald."

Darren couldn't believe it. He sighed and set one of the glasses he had finished cleaning down in front of
me. "What would you like today?"

"Oh, could I have some whiskey?"
"On the rocks?"
"Why not. I just need a couple stiff drinks."

He filled the glass with ice and whiskey. He set a pink straw in it, and winked at me. "How's business?"
"Did you have to ask?"
"Always, beautiful."
"Well, I hope that everything stays the way it should."
"How many guys have come in, cause I was seriously thinking about coming to see you."

I smiled.

"Couldn't do it. You're too much of a friend, and besides I have a client. You know what that means."
"No one else, huh?"

I took a sip of my drink, it was very strong.

"I don't think I want anyone else,"
"You don't want anyone else? You mean you don't want to take on anyone else?"
"I mean I don't want anyone else."

Darren frowned. I knew I had made him uncomfortable. I picked up my drink and took a big swig, making a sour face as I set down the glass. I sniffed and looked up at him.

"Where did you get that shirt, it's a guy's shirt."
"Yeah, my client gave it to me, how much do I owe you this time Darren?"
He covered his face. "Who is this guy?"

I took a deep breath and let it out in one big huff. I wanted to leave, and he wasn't letting me because of
some jealous bullshit.

"Darren, when did you get so interested in me? When I was trying to get your attention you wouldn't give me the time of day. Now you're getting all your nickers in a bunch over me having a client."

"He gave you his shirt, and you said you don't want anyone else, how many times did you sleep with him?"

"Why?"
"How many?"
"Once."
"Only once?"
"Before that we just held each other and that was it."
"What do you mean 'that was it'?"
"When we met he just held me, there...."

Darren took my five dollars. "I'll see you tomorrow." I stood up, I was insulted.
"What's with you,"
"Who is your client?"
"Michael Nesmith."

He just closed his eyes and gave me my change. I left the bar, and knew that something awful had happened. I wanted to cry but the tears didn't come, and I had lost my friend, all because he hadn't had the balls to tell me he liked me. I began to walk down the sidewalk, far from the bar and even farther from the house. I felt guilty for falling in love. I kept my stride rhythmic, listening to the beat, and started to
make lyrics up in my head,
You fell out of the sky
And the whole reason why
Is cause I love you
And the words that you say
They can make or break me
Cause I love you
There isn't a time of day
Or time of night
That when I try to sleep I can only keep on trying to cry
Opening my eyes

There was just no word for the pain that welled up inside me. I prayed that Michael would come back
sooner than promised, because I needed someone to hold onto. My hair whipped around my face as the wind began to pick up. I kept walking. There were more people than expected on the street, and more kids around. They were all running from something invisible that they acted terrified of, and all I could think was that I wanted to be that small and young again.

My innocence wasn't taken, or lost, or corrupted. I don't think I ever had any. I remember just being
plucked from the house I was living in, living with someone, getting kicked out, and Madame and Isabelle
finding me. They took me in, gave me a family, and a home. Sure it was a home full of naked women running around and men lusting after them, but I never saw that until I was ready to become one of them. Once I blossomed madame asked Ray Lynn to teach me everything she knew, and from there, I was a Lady of the Rose. Rose being the term for your womanhood. I didn't know that from then on I would have to live with my pussy running my life.

At first, my customers were men, grown ones with a thing for little girls, and then there were the
teenage boys looking to loose their virginity, and then there were the younger men, the ones with wives.
The twenty and thirty year olds, they became my favourite kind. So, when Michael came along, he was
just the right type, and very handsome. I knew that somehow, this man would have to be my love. But I
hadn't realized that he already was.

* * *

Michael lit up his joint that he just rolled. He sat back on my bed, his jeans open. He had put them back
on after a long day of love making. I tied my kimono shut and sat on the bed with him, crossing my legs. He smiled and held it out under my nose.

"It's good, you want some?"
"I only smoke cigarettes. It's hard for me to inhale that stuff."
"Well, you have to have some, if I smoke this all, shit. I'll be down for the count,"
"Then only smoke half and save the rest."

He smiled, "Can't do that with this stuff," and inhaled quite a bit of it. I laid down and put my head on his chest, he set the joint down in the ashtray.

"Maybe you're right." And he stubbed it out enough as not to ruin it. "It just makes me clumsy. Not that I
move when I smoke it, but it's true."
I kissed his chest.
"What's wrong?" He asked.
"Oh," I said. "I go to the bar down the way sometimes, and I have a friend who sells me drinks. I went to
have a drink, and he revealed his jealous love for me. I'm at wits end with it."

Michael wrapped his lanky arms around my shaking body. He kissed my cheeks and didn't say a word. There was love in that embrace, the kind of love we don't like to believe can happen to us. But it does.

"Is this guy a boy, you know, your age?"
"I think he may be a little younger than you."
"How long have you known him and you don't know how old he is?"
"I just never asked, and besides, he was jealous because I told him I had a client, I guess he wanted
to sleep with me, I don't know."

Michael sat the both of us up and looked into my eyes, he could see how much I was hurting, and I knew it.

"Oh I love you, and you have to know that by now,"
"How can you love me?"
"A lot of ways."

I looked in his eyes, and saw that he was serious. God, if I didn't know better I would say we were in
love. More in love than most people can be. He touched my face, I let him do things, I let him tell me he
loved me, I let him touch me, with his words. I heard things most girls would die to hear. I had fallen so
deep in love with him, and we made love.

We lay in the night, wrapped in each others limbs. The moonlight shone through the window, showing me his eyes, sparkling and true, full of some sincere feeling. His lips kissed me softly and showed me
another side of everything. I was his little secret, his sin. I was his little angel that no one knew about, and I was his and no one else's. He had me to run to when he could not find someone to hold him, and I could feel this in my skin when he held me tighter.

I watched his hands travel down my arms, slipping over my breasts, over my stomach. His fingers rolled off my lips as I planted kisses on his fingertips. My arms fell around him like rain and his head fell onto my chest, listening to my heart. Time passed, days, months, soon I was more than just a girl, and now I
knew that love was fleeting but we weren't together. We weren't married or dating, we were just together
when he was lonely, my man for all the words in the world could not describe the way we loved each other.

I watched his face change with wrinkles from growing older, realized that he had stopped paying me for sex and giving me money so that I could live. Telling me that it was for my life and not for my service, and
adding that he loved me. I watched myself go from pupil to mentor, I saw that he came less and less. I
started to miss him, started to see that maybe he had just left me. I started to watch my belly grow big and watch my daughter be born to me, and the little infant rested in her basinet when her father walked into the house, setting down his bag. He walked to her, and looked at her, and didn't know his blood was in her veins. That the Pretty Little Princess had his eyes.

I stood at the top of the stairs, seeing him for the first time in months. I ran to him, and he swept me
into his arms. He had tried to save me from my life since the beginning, and only now would he save me. We went back to lying in the quiet evening, making love. He had been through marriages and I had been through heartache. Not being able to live so good but getting help from my sister. I was 28 and he was 35.

"God I missed you,"

I rested on his naked chest and smelled him, he smelled good.

"Michael, I love you."

I said it. He looked down into my eyes and I could see his happiness.
"I love you too,"
"Did you see the baby girl down stairs?"
"Yes, the woman there said that she belonged to one of the girls."

I gave him a look. A look to show him the obviousness that little Jessica was his baby and that we were a
family. He proposed to me, and I packed my things, leaving the house, leaving the only life I had ever
known. Sitting in the car, looking back on the streets of New Orleans, seeing people, seeing Darren. Knowing that if I had loved him he would be married. He would be happy.

The horizon looked promising to me, and the man driving was mine. The baby in my arms feeding on my
breast was ours. I saw that I was no longer a prostitute, no longer a man's object. I was a person, I had become a real person. I looked back again and saw that no one was waving, no one missed me, no one
cared. The world had changed and I changed with it. In the back seat hanging out of my suit case, was a green velvet dress.

The End

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