Part III: "Sometimes the Best Laid Plans Just Won't Work"
By The Disappearing Woolhat
*Part III title courtesy of a very stoned Donatella
Micky's love-making. He had unplugged the toaster in fear that Pete would electrocute himself in the midst of his admiring caresses. The dumb hippie now sat across from Davy, playing with a shiny spoon.
"Davy."
"What is it, Petah." The Brit glared at nothing in particular.
"Will the girls really like us if we act gay?"
Davy furrowed his eyebrows. Had Peter just constructed an intelligent question? He smiled and shook Pete's hand furiously.
"Yes, old chap, yes they will!"
Meanwhile, upstairs.
"Harder, Mike, harder!"
Mike grunted, and wiped the sweat from his brow. "It won't...go in."
"Of course it will, it's got to! Harder, faster," Micky shouted.
"Almost there.Mick, maybe we should give up."
Micky pouted and looked at the framed photo in his hand. "But I want to hang this photo of us, and how
can we do that if you can't get the nail in the wall?"
"Well, okay, lets try another spot." Mike tapped the head of the nail, and it pushed into the wall with just enough out to hang the frame. Micky delightedly placed the photo on the wall and hugged his Texan
lover tightly.
"I'm so glad that Pete and Davy know about us. Now we can put pictures up and have sex as loudly as we want."
Mike looked at Micky like he had just told him the meaning of life. "Yes, Mick, we can have sex as loud
as we want to. Let's celebrate."
He led the curly-top to his bed and pulled the white t-shirt Micky was wearing over his head. Micky in
turn helped Mike with his shirt, fingers fumbling over the buttons as usual. Why the hell couldn't Mike wear a t-shirt like normal people? He finally succeeded and moved on to Mike's jeans. Now those were what Micky didn't mind. So tight, so revealing...yummy!
Finally they were both blissfully naked and kissing passionately upon the dark green sheets. Micky bit
his lip as Mike trailed wet kisses down his stomach and towards his growing erection. Mike wasted no time giving Micky exactly what he wanted. He wasn't in a toying mood anyhow. He engulfed the other in his mouth, inciting those pleasurable moans. He slowly moved, and Micky felt his hips raise involuntarily towards Mike's mouth. He closed his eyes tightly as he moved faster towards the edge, every movement pushing him further. He finally came, calling out Mike's name loudly. He felt the man slink on top of him and he opened his eyes as Mike kissed him deeply. The other also had his eyes open. Sometimes they preferred to kiss that way, staring deep into the windows of their souls.
Micky felt entranced by Mike's penetrating gaze, and held the stare until he could no longer stand it.
Just looking at him made him want to come again. And that's just what Mike had in mind. He let the other man turn onto his stomach and lovingly caressed the tanned back, down his spine, across the perfect buttocks. He pushed a finger into Micky, then another, before removing them and replacing them with his throbbing erection. He moved slowly at first, then with increasing speed, pumping Micky in rhythm. Both men felt in complete ecstasy. Perhaps it was increased by the knowledge that they now had nothing to hide, that they were free to love always. Mike came, soon followed by Micky and he lay next to his lover. Micky took a deep breath and moved closer to the other. Then Mike pulled him into a sweet simple kiss, because it was special to them that way. They fell asleep in each others' arms.
------
It was a week later, and Davy was frustrated. He and Peter had tried their best to give off gay vibes, but it wasn't working. The girls still gave them no notice and continued to flirt with Mike and Micky.
Damn them and their gayness.he pouted at the thought. He finally decided to ask Mike for help. He always had good advice.
"Mike. I'm about to give it all up. I've tried to act like there's a secret something going on between
Petah and I, but it just isn't working. What do I do? I want to have sex!"
Mike gave him a strange look and considered his answer carefully. Davy sure was pathetic. "Well,
Dave, I think the problem is...YOU AREN'T REALLY GAY!"
Davy blinked. "Well, you don't 'ave to shout. So, I 'ave to really be gay to get a girl?"
Mike closed his eyes and shook his head in frustration. Sometimes Davy could be just as dumb as
Peter. But why dash the little fellows hopes. If he thought he could be gay and still want to screw girls,
then let him. "Sure, Dave. If you were actually gay, you could get all the girls you want. Happy?"
Davy considered this a moment, and then said, "Yes. Now, 'ow do I go about it?"
Mike tried not to chuckle. This was all too amusing. "Well, you have to start by having sex with a guy. I
guess Pete's your best choice, seeing you can't have my Micky."
"Petah, eh? Alright. Thank you kindly, Mike."
Davy wandered off to his bedroom to see if Peter was there. He was.Davy closed the door with a smirk.
A few moments later Micky came into the living room. He sat next to Mike on the couch, who was staring in the direction of the downstairs bedroom.
"What's up, Mike?"
Mike put a finger to his lips, "Shhh.Davy and Pete are getting it on in there."
"You're joking," Micky said sarcastically, not all that surprised. He figured it would happen sooner or
later. But just then, Davy walked out in his boxers, a slight blush across his face. He leaned over to
Mike and whispered something. Mike laughed softly and then whispered back. Davy's eyes got wide and he returned to his bedroom with a stunned look on his face.
Micky looked at Mike curiously.
"Don't ask."
They turned their attention to the bedroom door once again, and sure enough Davy came out once more. He stood there awkwardly.
"Miiiiike," he whined. The Texan just shook his head, still very much amused.
"Look here, Dave. I know. Why don't we just have a glorious foursome."
"A foursome," Micky began to protest. "With them?"
"Yes, Mick, with Peter and Davy. How about it Dave?"
"Well.alright, if that's what it takes!"
Mike grabbed the still protesting Micky and pulled him toward the bedroom. "Don't worry," he whispered. "I won't let them touch you. We just have to . show them how it's done."
Micky followed reluctantly. Mike started to strip down and Micky followed suit. Soon they were naked
and they looked at Davy and Peter.
"Well," Micky said. "Take off your boxers."
Davy did so and everyone oooh-ed and aaah-ed at the size of his package in ratio to his height. Then it was Peter's turn. He slipped off his boxers and Mike let out a gasp. Micky just stared.
"No wonder you couldn't figure out where to stick it, Dave," he drawled. "There's nothing there! Nothing at all...would you look at that. Are you seeing this, Mick?"
"Yeah, I'm seeing it," he replied. "Peter is sexless."
"Sorry, Dave," said Mike. "Looks like you are out of luck."
Davy pouted. "Can't we still 'ave a three some?"
"No."
"Then let me 'ave Micky."
"No!"
Davy stamped his foot. "I want Micky!"
Mike stamped his foot. "He's mine!"
"Mine."
"Mine!"
"MINE!!!"
"MINEMINEMINEMINEMINEMINEMINE!!!"
The fight continued on for hours until both parties were blue in the face and Micky had fallen into a
comatose state. He snapped out of it at the lack of sound. He turned and looked at the camera.
"Haven't you always wondered how it all started? Well, folks, I'm just one sexy bitch. What can I say?"
Mike looked at the camera. "Dave can't have him, he's my sexy bitch. Mine. Only. Not his. Mine.
I'm just one possessive bastard. What can I say?"
Then Davy looked at the camera. "I just want to be gay so I can 'ave sex with the lady birds, like. Is
that so wrong? Micky sounds like a girl... I'm just one randy Brit. What can I say?"
Peter then looked at the wrong camera, and was directed to the right one. "Oh! Hi, folks. Well, it
seems that I've been manufactured by Mattel, which would explain my extreme stupidity and lack of
genitalia. But if some one tries to get me into a red Speedo someday, I've got a fake-penis back up plan, also manufactured by Mattel. I'm just sexless. What can I say?"
And now you know.
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