Mike noticed that Micky was shifting uncomfortably on the stool. He wished he could get inside Micky's head. It was like drawing blood from a stone, trying to get anything out of him. Even the simplest things, like what he wanted for dinner. He was so hard to read. Mike began to realize that Micky wasn't going to volunteer the information so he would have to pry it out of him. Besides, this would take his mind off his initial thoughts of how to tell Micky how he felt. He hadn't mentioned this to Peter or Davy. Peter had joked about the incident in the diner but Mike had shut him up quick. Mike had seen Micky go out with a couple of girls since he had moved in, but he had also seen him with a group of guys, some of whom Mike knew from the clubs he went to. The will to hold Micky, to run his hands through that wild curly hair, to kiss those soft open lips was cutting Mike up. What was he so afraid of? - Rejection, pure and simple. Mike couldn't comprehend how he would cope with the situation if Micky rejected him, he had to be sure first. Anyway back to the question at hand, he had to be a friend to Micky first and foremost.

"What's up Mick?" he finally asked.

"Nothin'."

"Come on, I'd like to think that I know you better than that. You can talk to me."

"I was just wonderin' if you could help me with something." Micky's eyes darted nervously round the room.

"Sure shotgun, what is it?"

"Can you help me write a song?" Micky's face was so sincere, almost begging Mike with his eyes to say yes.

"No problem." Mike watched as Micky's face broke into grin. "What for?"

"I kinda met this girl and she digs poetry…I told her I wrote songs but I'm useless."

"What girl?" asked Mike sharply, his jealously mounting.

"I met her a few days ago."

Micky was slightly embarrassed at talking about this to Mike.

"Ok, Mick I can give ya a few pointers, just let me get my guitar."

Mike walked upstairs to the bedroom he now shared with Micky. He could feel the tears stinging his eyes. Why was he reacting this way? If he couldn't tell Micky how he felt then how could he stop him from seeing other people? He sharply wiped the tears across his sleeve, scolding himself for getting too close. After all this wasn't love - was it? It was lust. Mike had felt this way before but the difference this time was that he wasn't able to unleash these feelings. Only at night had he been able to satisfy himself with his own hand whilst watching Micky sleeping peacefully in the bed next to him. He couldn't believe he was trapped in this life he had created for himself. He needed to get out and fast. He quickly went back downstairs to Micky, who was waiting patiently for him to return.

After a few hours Mike relaxed and was beginning to enjoy himself. Making music always made him happy, and even though he hadn't been thrilled about the idea of writing a song for a possible new girlfriend of Micky's, the song was coming along great. Although Mike spent almost every day with Micky, this was different. Usually Peter or Davy were about. They were working so intensely together and Micky's enthusiasm for writing was providing a stimulant to Mike allowing him to pour out his feelings into the words they were slowly molding into a perfect song. "Wow, " smiled Micky. "I'm sure gonna score some credit when I sing this to her."

"I bet you will." Mike tried to stop the jealous tone seeping out in his voice. "Let's take a break - you want a drink?"

"Thanks."

Micky pored over the lyrics again. He was really impressed with Mike's ability. He held a great respect for him. Since he had moved there, Mike had been nothing but friendly, and tried to make him feel at home. Micky wasn't used to this. After the squat where it was every man for himself, Micky enjoyed the attention that Mike was showing him. He was also excited about the reaction the song would get from Isobel. She would love it, there was so much emotion and hope in the song, the positive input Mike had put into each line, each note. Micky was in bewildered awe that anyone could care so passionately about music the way Mike did. He truly respected Mike as an artist and as a friend.

Mike returned with the drinks.

"Thanks," said Micky taking a sip. "Man I wish I could play the guitar like you."

"You do?" Mike seemed surprised by this. "But I thought you were a drummer?"

"I know, but I love the guitar. It's so sensual, you know?"

Micky strummed his hand lightly over the strings, sending a shiver down Mike's spine.

"I could teach you if you'd like," he said, sitting down quickly to cover the growing erection in his pants.

"Yeah? Whatta 'bout now?" said Micky, his enthusiasm getting the better of him.

"What about the song? Don't ya think we should get that finished first? Ok so where were we?"

He looked down at the paper.

"We need something to rhyme with 'Luck'."

"Aahh….Fuck?" joked Micky.

"You can't put that in a song," said Mike, playfully hitting Micky's arm.

"I guess you're right," Micky yawned . "Man I'm beat, can we finish it tomorrow?"

"Sure."

"Oh, but first can you teach me something on the guitar?"

"Ok, ok," sighed Mike.

Micky stood up and strapped the guitar over his chest.

"Come on, then. Show me where to put my fingers."

Mike stood behind him, admiring Micky's tight ass in his new pants. Mike placed his arm over Micky's left shoulder. He slowly breathed in, inhaling Micky's sweet smell. It wasn't a scent you could capture in a bottle, but a soft almost hazy fragrance that came from Micky himself. It sent Mike's senses reeling. They were so close that not a sliver of light passed between their bodies. Mike closed his eyes. If only he could reach down and kiss the soft gentle nape of Micky's neck, if he just had the courage to…

"Mike, what do I do with my fingers?"

"Um...You put your finger on this string and across to this one and…."

He noticed that Micky was staring intently at him.

"What?" Mike asked suspiciously. What if Micky had sensed something? Mike moved back slightly hoping that the erection in his pants wasn't noticeable.

Micky simply replied with a "Nothing, I'm just listening. Go on."

"And then you play."

By now Mike was fully charged. He had Micky right where he wanted him and he didn't want to fuck it up. He wanted Micky more than he had ever wanted anyone. It wasn't just about a quick lay, he wanted to be with him, protect him. Standing that close to him, Mike knew that he was falling for Micky, big time. The emotion surging through him made his head spin and his legs go weak. His whole body ached to kiss Micky, to touch him, to tell him how he felt, he must.

Micky strummed the guitar and got a perfect sound.

"Hey I did it!"

Micky stood triumphant at his effort. Nobody had ever taken the time to teach him anything and now he felt he had achieved something and it was all thanks to Mike.

"That was a C-chord, now put the guitar down Mick, I'm tired."

Micky took the instrument off and sat down next to Mike.

"Thanks a lot for today, Mike. You've been a real pal."

Micky turned and gave Mike an affectionate hug. This was all Mike needed. To Micky's surprise, he leaned over and kissed him on his lips forcing Micky to jump back, startled.

"Why did you do that!?"

"I'm sorry, Mick," Mike blurted out, "but I've wanted to tell ya for ages."

"Tell me what?" asked Micky dumbly.

"How I feel about you."

Mike fixed his dark eyes on Micky, who in turn didn't say anything. Mike thought he'd blown it for sure. He drew up closer to Micky, trying to get some sort of reaction from him, but Micky just shifted uncomfortably on the couch.

"I'm sorry Mick, I know I should have mentioned it sooner, but you can't say you haven't thought about it. I have seen the way you look at me sometimes."

Micky still didn't speak. He was in shock, not just about what Mike had done or said but at the fact that maybe deep down, Mike was speaking the truth. Maybe he had been feeling something towards Mike. It was all becoming clear to him now. This is why Mike had treated him so well. Micky felt like such an idiot for not thinking anything sooner, after all this was LA and he knew about Mike's sexuality. However he was slowly doubting his own.

"Well say something," said Mike.

"I just don't know…." Was all Micky could say. He looked close to tears.

Mike wasn't expecting this response. He thought that Micky may have got angry, even hit him, but not tears. This left Mike confused. Why was Micky crying? He lifted his head and stared deep into his eyes.

"Just give me a chance," he whispered.

He pressed his lips up against Micky's, letting his tongue explore his mouth hungrily. Micky's mouth was so soft and inviting, just kissing him was sending Mike into new realms of pleasure.

This time Micky didn't pull away. His mind was racing, he knew this was wrong; this was his best friend! How could he be sitting here making out with a guy? Micky head was in a daze, he couldn't think straight. Mike's kiss was controlling and yet sensitive at the same time. Micky wanted to pull away but something was making him stay. He wanted to be close to Mike, maybe deep down the bond that he developed with him over the last few weeks was stronger than Micky had anticipated. It made him feel special that Mike had wanted him over the other two guys, that he had been the one that Mike had chosen for the band, that despite Davy's objection, Mike had still wanted him to be there. Micky was confused but at the same time comforted by Mike's affection.

They broke from the kiss. Mike was eager to take things further. Now that he finally had Micky he was desperate to show him how much he cared for him, but he didn't want to rush - one step at a time.

"Wow," breathed Micky, opening his eyes and smiling at Mike.

"Wow what?" asked Mike innocently.

"Nobody has ever kissed me like that before," Micky said, as doubts raced through his mind.

"What? Never?" said Mike, proud of the compliment.

"No, but Mike I'm so confused, what does this mean?" Micky furrowed his brow in deep thought.

"Micky, don't take everything so seriously."

"But it is serious. You know this is really strange, Mike."

"Not to me it isn't," said Mike, gently nibbling Micky's ear.

"I'm sorry Mike, but you'll have to be patient with me. This takes some getting used to."

"So I take it that I am forgiven," said Mike.

"There's nothing for me to forgive."

Micky rested his head against Mike's strong chest and closed his eyes. He could hear Mike's heart pounding hard and for the first time in his life he felt safe. He still couldn't explain why these feelings were developing for Mike. He had never been attracted to a man before. He was always so secure in his own sexuality and despite his lack of experience, he knew that it was girls he wanted. But this was a different kind of attraction he felt for Mike. Mike wouldn't let him down, he was sure of that. Mike wouldn't hurt him, but he still couldn't believe what he was actually considering.

"Mick," Mike whispered softly in his ear.

"Mmm," came the reply, his eyes still closed.

"What are you thinking?"

'Uh-oh,' thought Micky, 'what do I say now?' Maybe his life so far had been false. He didn't know what to say or do next. If he told Mike he wanted to make a go of things, what did this mean for him - was he gay? No, he knew that wasn't true, so did this mean no more girls? Oh what was he getting himself into!

"I don't know," he finally said. "I am so confused, Mike."

Mike understood, he remembered his first kiss with a guy. He was fifteen and he and his friend Arnie had been out fishing for the day. They hadn't caught much but still it had been fun. He remembered they had been late getting back and Mike knew his Ma would worry. He'd get a tanning for sure. Arnie had reassured Mike and told him that no matter what punishment they both got, he'd had fun today and with that he kissed him. Mike had enjoyed it but at the same time he felt like Micky was probably feeling right now. That initial confusion would eventually go as it did for him. He understood and wanted to help Micky through this.

"I know you are buddy, and I'm not going to pressure you into making any decision that you don't want to make."

"I know you wouldn't Mike, but what does this make me now?"

"Micky, it's not a fuckin disease. Don't try a label yourself, you are you and whatever you decide, you should be happy."

"I guess. You're not going to say anything to Davy or Peter are you?"

"What!" said Mike in surprise. "Never. Why would I want to tell them anything? Besides, nothing has happened really, has it?"

Micky thought 'Maybe not to you.' But the last ten minutes had altered his whole perception on life. His mind was full of questions. Should he just leave? Maybe that would be for the best, but no, for who's best? Certainly not Mike's, and deep down he didn't want to go. He enjoyed being in the band and he enjoyed playing the music. No, leaving was not a option. But what was? Maybe he was having these doubts because that kiss had got to him. Mike had made him feel alive, he had awakened his senses and Micky knew he was running from his own emotions. He wanted this and he knew he did, but he was scared to admit it. He needed time to think.

"I'm going out," he announced, wriggling out from under Mike's arm.

"Micky, don't do this to yourself man."

"Do what? Mike, I'm sorry. This may be easy for you, but I've gotta think things through. Please, just let me have sometime alone."

"Ok, Mick, if that's what ya want."

Mike wasn't about to pressure him. That kiss had given him a small taste of what was hopefully to come with Micky. He wanted him even more now and if he rocked the boat, he could lose him forever. Micky would come around, they all did eventually. A slow smile spread across Mike's face. He was going to enjoy this challenge, that was for sure.