Dear Junkies,

Here is the first in a series of fics I've gathered for the holidays.  Though they have absolutely nothing to do with the holidays, I thought it would be a nice little gift for you to have some smut to read each day.

Happy Holidays!

Your loving Goddess,
~Donatella

Smut Alert!

First up, we have a delicious mini-tale from our lovely and slightly crazy Jax.  Please enjoy "Very Surreal Smut".

Tuesday, December 09, 2003 5:20 AM
Head Fan,
If only I had a better attention span,
I would have posted the exact same question.
Who's doing What, Now?
Cheers, Oh Look A shiney thing....
XX

Jax

Yep, those shiny objects will get ya every time. That's why I paint everything black.
~Donatella

Tuesday, December 09, 2003 6:38 PM
Wanting Micky,
I have ALWAYS wondered what they would say about a BOB (Battery Operated BoyFriend) going thru airport security. DH suggested I take it with us on our last vacation but I didn't even dare! Well, now we know.

Fuzzy,
I agree, Mike is an asshole. Let's go beat the shit out of him...but make sure it's at night so we don't actually have to look at his fugly old face.

Jax,
You must be sick, your posts are coherent for once!! LOL
Hope you're feeling better. I love tequila too, but I doubt its medicinal qualities. I liked your list of Christmas gifts for the guys. The OJ made me remember that Micky puts OJ in his cereal instead of milk. Nasty.

Head~Fan

Fugly?
~Donatella

Wednesday, December 10, 2003 3:21 AM
i can't imagine why I'd give any presents to the damned "Monkees"..who do they think they are?
Especially Micky who, fully aware that I and so many others yearn for his skinny tanned curly pug face to be permanently attached to their panties, continues to get married and age? what has he done for us lately?

And Mike, how dare he decide to go grandpa on us? I got yer gift right here (grabs crotch)

anyway, I just want to say that Head Fan's phrase "curly Micky and crotch shots of Mike" paints a nice picture, don't you think? I just like the idea of the two things pushed up against eachother.

amd

Yeah, I agree. I wouldn't give them shit either. Micky is a total asshole, so all that interests me is having his face attached to my pussy, just like you said. Oh, and that would keep his big, fucking mouth busy too - an extra plus.
~Donatella

Friday, December 12, 2003 6:57 PM
I've tried this before, but it didn't go through the first time.

This is what I would do for each of the four lads, at Christmas.

Everyone is always bitching about how much Micky rambles on and on, well what about dumb fuck Peter. Peter not only rambles on, but he laughs at his retarded jokes and whines 99% of the time. For Peter, I would shave his fucking hair of, his head as well as his groin. I would then bend him in half, and since his cock is suppose to be so long, I'd stick the damn thing in his mouth and super glue his lips to it. This way he can gag himself, and this will prevent him from speaking, that's if his dick is that big. If not, then his lips being super glued around it, will still prevent him from saying a word.

For Davy: First I would beat the shit out of him. That man deserves a good ass kicking, for all the crap he's said and done in the past. Then handcuff his hands behind his back, and duct tape his mouth shut. After which I would hang him from a tree and tell everyone around that he's a pinata, and have them all take a really good whack or two to him. LOL!!

For Mike: I'd get the biggest fucking strap on I could find and bend the fucker over and fuck his ass really hard, without any lube. The stupid hypocrite needs to learn not to look a gift horse in the mouth. He wants to be an ass, well then he should be treated like one.

For Micky...hmmm...I'm still thinking about his, but the thought of hot wax, is really coming to mind a lot. I'll have to get back to you on that one. ;|

Fuzzy ;)

Hm, now if I were going to get rid of unwanted hair on someone I didn't particularly like, I'd use hot wax, myself. This would be especially effective around the balls area. In fact, I'd like to try this one on all of them - how's that for a holiday special? Your Davy gift is very imaginative, Fuzz. Where do you come up with this shit? You are a true sadist. Just reading what you'd do to Mike makes me cringe.
~Donatella

And a holiday wish from Mistress Nez...

Thursday, December 18, 2003 10:48 PM
Dona, are you unfamiliar with the word fugly?? It's short for FUCKIN' UGLY!!!

Head~Fan

I was, but thanks for enlightening me.
~Donatella

Friday, December 19, 2003 4:53 AM
A fun parody, sung to the tune of...

Eminem
Without Me

Two trailer park Guys go round the outside;
round the outside, round the outside
*scratches*
Two trailer park guys go round the outside;
round the outside, round the outside
*scratches*

Guess who's back
Back again
Micky's back
Tell a friend
Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back
guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back.. {*Eminem hums*}

[Verse 1: Eminem]
I've created a monster, cause nobody wants to see Micky no more
They want Mike, He's chopped liver
Well if you want Mike, this is what I'll give ya
A little bit of weed mixed with some hard liquor
Some vodka to jump start my heart quicker
than the shocks when I get shocked at the hospital
when the doctor when I'm not co-operating
When I'm rockin the table while he's operating
You waited this long, now stop debating
Cause I'm back, I'm on the rag and ovulating
I know that you got a job Ms. Dolenz, but your husband's heart problem's complicating
So the FCC won't let me be
or let me be me, so let me see
They try to shut me down on MTV
But it feels so empty, without me
So, come on and dip, bum on your lips
Fuck that, cum on your lips, and some on your tits
And get ready, cause this shit's about to get heavy
I just settled all my lawsuits, Fuck You Donna!

Jax

Damn. Unfortunately, I'm unfamiliar with Eminem, so I can't sing along, but this is really good. Did you write all this by yourself, or is this Eminem? I think you've found your calling, Jax.
~Donatella

Saturday, December 20, 2003 3:11 AM
Yes.
Fugly.
I Hear You.

jax

I'm still lost.
~Donatella

Saturday, December 20, 2003 8:14 AM
JESUS CHRIST! These posts aren't very Christmassy. Nasty ass fuckings and physical assaults. Tut Tut Tut.

Seems like all anyone wants to do round here lately is torture or be tortured.

Screw that. I've wussed out for the festive season. Here are my gifts to the Monkees.(1968- to save confusion)

For Mike and Peter -- a long and loving evening of deep kisses infront of a roaring open fire.

For Micky... and Davy (God dammit, it IS Christmas) I cordially wish both of them the very best!

...so you see I'm not dead. (Sorry Fuzzy)

Little Red Rider

Well, that's very... nice. How 'bout a big, bright red, Christmas dildo to stick up Pete's ass?
~Donatella

Sunday, December 21, 2003 5:00 AM
I'll most likely get booted out for this post,
But I must...
Imagine, It's 1957, and For the Love of all that is good,
Let's think of a young Elvis, in a black leather jacket.
I could go on and on, but I'll save myself the humilitation.

Elvis was the Man

Jax

I'll buy a ticket to that. Though definitely not a fan, the man had a hot young ass in black leather.
~Donatella

Sunday, December 21, 2003 12:17 PM
LOL-No Dona, I wasn't planning on waxing off all of Micky's hair. I was thinking more in the line of being kinky with it. Some S/M comes to mind. Glad you liked The Davy gift. I chuckled at myself as I thought of it. I also liked the Peter gift, anything to make that man shut his ass up!

The Holidays are upon us, damn I must say it came pretty damn quick. Pisses me off that I didn't get to really enjoy them. None the less...I would like to wish the Goddess and all of my fellow junkies and their loved ones, a very HAPPY HOLIDAY!! And may your New Year be filled with lots of love, happiness and peace. Oh...we must not forget, hope it's filled with LOTS OF SMUT, too!! :)

Fuzzy ;)

Oh, I meant a "waxing", you know, like ripping the hair off his balls - just a thought. A very happy one to you too, Fuzzy! ...did you say "peace"?
~Donatella

Smut Alert!

Installment 2 of my holiday smutathon:
"Sweet Young Thing"  By Mama Nez

Monday, December 22, 2003 4:08 PM
LOL! Glad to see you're not dead Little Red Rider. It's fun having someone to bitch at! I was actually starting to miss you, REALLY!

Nice song Jax, like Dona, I too am not into Eminem, but I like the words to the song. Hmm...didn't know Micky had a heart condition.

And yeah, Dona, I said peace. I meant "Peace on Earth, good will toward man." kind of peace. But hell...if you're lucky to get a good piece of ass too, GO FOR IT!!

Fuzzy ;)

No, I didn't mean "piece" like in piece of ass. I meant, how can you use a word like "peace" in the BB where such a thing is so scarce?
~Donatella

Monday, December 22, 2003 10:39 PM
Dona, the last time I tried to post, it said "cannot find server" so this is a "repeat" post.

Anyway....HAPPY HOLIDAYS!! Hope everybody gets what they want! Thanks for the crotch shot of Mike! always a pleasure!

mickysgirl

Yes, I think my server was down for a few minutes yesterday. And how about that Mike crotch anyway?! It's pretty darn amazing if ya ask me. That thing goes half way down his leg!!
~Donatella

Tuesday, December 23, 2003 6:01 AM
Mama Nez,
Now that's what I call last Tuesday,
Oh, I mean that's a well written bit of smut.
Thank You.
Whew, I have to go and, uh, look for something.
You are gifted.

Jax

Mama Nez did do a great job, didn't she? DIDN'T SHE, LADIES?!
~Donatella

Tuesday, December 23, 2003 6:12 AM
Hmm, is there a polite way to say, that not everyone is Christian...
probably not.

BBoxers' have the time of your lives,
Thanks for everything
XXOO

Jax

Hey, as a devout atheist I make sure to be politically correct when it comes to religion - Happy Holiday's includes everyone. That means you, Jax! Besides, Christmas is nothing more than an old pagan ritual gone awry by American capitalism (and those noisy Christians) which is what I celebrate in my house. Jesus wouldn't dare visit us; the cookies and milk are for Santa ONLY. So if it makes you feel better, then blessed be, and have a happy time celebrating the winter solstice.
~Donatella

Tuesday, December 23, 2003 11:10 AM
woolhats travelling moood please please finish NO MANS LAND i am dying to find out what happens next i am not good at giving praise so i will just say it kicks arse and finish it soon or i will go mad
claire
peace

Again with the peace?
~Donatella

Tuesday, December 23, 2003 11:48 AM
Just dropping by to say Happy Holidays to everyone!

Also, thanks for the nice crotch shot of Mike....always a pleasure...

mickysgirl

And a very Happy Holiday to you too!
~Donatella

A Very Kinky Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the dungeon
Not a creature was stirring not even a sub.
The armbinders were hung by the chimney with care,
In the hopes that St. Goddess soon would be there;

The slaves were all nestled and snug in their cage,
While visions of spankings would soon be the rage;
And Mistress in leather, and I in my cock prison,
Had just settled down for a long evening session

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprung from the rack to see what's the matter.
Away to the window I hobbled across the rug,
With a swing, the weights on my balls they did tug.

The moon on the breast of the new-polished latex,
Gave lustre and shimmer to objects used out of context,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny slave dear's,
With a Beautiful Woman, in a tight leather dress,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Goddess.

More rapid than eagles her slaves they all came,
And she whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Sissy!  Now, Slut!  Now, Worm and Slave!
On, Pussy!  On, Pony-boy!  On, Maggot and Knave!
To the top of the rack! To the top, Bondage Wall!
Now spank away!  Spank away!  Spank away all!"

As a hurried breath after a swat will escape
When they are ordered, an ass they would rape
So up to the dungeon-top, the slaves they flew,
With the sleigh full of sex-toys, and St. Goddess too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard through the glass
The shriek and the scream after each swat on the ass.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the stairs St. Goddess came with a bound.

From her head to her feet in her latex and leather,
Her beauty so stunning, I could be knocked over with feather;
A bundle of clamps she had hung from her bod,
If she knew my thinking, she would spare me no rod.

Her eyes -- how they twinkled! Her bosom so smooth!
Her ass-cheeks like roses that make my cock move!
Her droll little mouth was drawn up in a sneer,
And when I saw her strap-on, my heart jumped in fear;
The shaft of a dildo she held tight in her hand,
My ass she inspected and threatened to brand;
She had a beautiful face and a little round butt,
With a look of disdain she called me her mutt.
She was tall and statuesque, strict woman of power,
In whose shadow I did cower;

A wink of her eye and a twist of her head,
Soon gave me to know I had something to dread;
She spoke not a word, but went straight to her work,
And filled all the armbinders, then turned with a jerk;
She saddled me up and took me for a quick ride,
And after giving a nod, up the stairs we did glide;
She sprang to her sleigh, to her team she snapped leather,
And away they all flew like the down of a feather.

But I heard her exclaim, ere she drove out of sight,
"Happy Bondage to all, and to all a good-SM-night."

Wednesday, December 24, 2003 12:21 AM
No chat, this week! How heartbreaking! I even finally managed to come on, on time, especially to see you lovely, dear ladies, and, alas. . . Thwarted, left lonely and cold and wanting for your sweet wiles. I've missed far too many chats, lately! And between computer troubles, school/finals, and general laziness, I admit I had fallen behind on the Black Box, too. I'm so ashamed, can you ever forgive me, Goddess? Revered junkies? I've caught back up! All the way! While visions of latexed goddesses and young Monkees flight through my brain with joyful abandon, I'll think of you all fondly, for the holidays!

I hope everyone has a good vacation/break if you're getting it, holiday of whichever variety if you celebrate, or just a nice winter/new year, as appropriate.

I Only Just realized there were fics I was missing--how sad is that?--Lene T., brilliant, as always! It's a thrill whenever something new comes up. I'm still working on the other lovely stories that have been put up recently, and if internet explorer is kind, I'll have them read before the night's out.

Quick rebuttal: Little Red Rider, I stand with you in your Peter fondness! I'm not a very impressive ally, though. . Completely useless in bashing, and generally overfond of all four of the boys--yes, Even Mr. Jones. But I will at least join you in appreciation!

Basic update: All in all, I wish I was more prone towards writing down smut. I've been watching
Caligula, keeping up with Queer Eye, and listening to the Monkees. Really, it's a Good combination. Once my laptop gets back from the MacDoctor, we'll see if I can work anything up. 'tis the season for giving, or at least making the attempt!

The lazy, the loving--B.E./L./ALWE, as you prefer.

Oh, I'm sorry about the chat. I missed two myself - shame on me. I give myself one hundred tit lashings for my near abandoning of my loyal junkies. Hey, wait a minute... I'm the Goddess! Fuck that! I give all you junkies a hundred tit lashings instead - just for making me almost feel guilty. Anyway, there will be a chat tonight, so I hope you can make it.

Caligula! Wow, I haven't seen that in ages. Everyone run out and get a copy - wonderful smut inspiration. I do hope you will make that writing attempt. Your BB posts are written so well, it would be such a shame to let that talent wither away - smut is running through your veins, woman, do I have to sick the leaches on you?
~Donatella

Wednesday, December 24, 2003 3:15 AM
My High Priestess Dona,
You are indeed the Most Exaulted One.
I appreciate your non-secular post.
It ain't easy being a Jewish-Wiccan-Agnostic,
this time of year.
Good Lookin'Out
I Bow Down,
<---Wishes to be more like the Bellisima BellaDona
Thy Will Be Done
More Smut is Brewing

Jax

Is that possible? Can you be an Agnostic, Jewish, Wiccan? Oh well, just write some smut.
~Donatella

Wednesday, December 24, 2003 3:46 PM
Hello all my smut loving friends

Happy Holidays to you all and I hope Santa brings you just what you want

love and hugs
erin

p.s i know it is xmas but where is my part of the rr xx

Erin

Oh my dear Erin! I haven't forgotten you and your RR chapter. A thousand apologies for my tardiness and rudeness. In fact, I'll even give myself those tit-lashings now.

I'll try to post it today.
~Donatella

Monday, December 29, 2003 11:15 PM
I like the "kinky christmas" poem! very nice!!

Just another note to say hey! really nothing important.

Hope everyone had a great Christmas! Mine was pretty dull. Hope everyone has a safe and Happy New Year!!

mickysgirl

Hearing from you is always important, luv. Happy New Year!
~Donatella

Wednesday, December 31, 2003 4:08 PM
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL MY SMUTTY FRIENDS. Here's hoping that the festivities bring out the best writing in you.

love and hugs
erin
;@)

Happy New Year, Erin! Lets all make a resolution to write more smut this year... okay, maybe not.
~Donatella

Thursday, January 01, 2004 8:00 PM
LOL! I was a little bored today and found this site. I want to know why the fucking little troll get's more money per show, than Micky? Hell Davy sang, if that's what you call it, on only a handful of songs. Out of those handful of songs, only one of them went to number one. While Micky sang lead on most of the songs, and had several go to either number one or were in the top twenty. I'm telling you, I wouldn't give Davy a fucking nickle, to perform at my venue...if I "had" a venue. It was interesting to see just how much money most people make doing there thing.
http://www.marstalent.com/seventies.htm

Btw, WHY IS IT SO FUCKING QUIET, IN THIS FUCKING PLACE!? Why are there no posts? Wassup with that? No one fucking around? or is that it...everyones fucking around?

No matter...HAPPY NEW YEAR one and all!
From one of the many noisy Christian's!

Fuzzy ;)

I was fucking around, hence the late posts. Too fucking bad - sue me! Oh, and happy New Year, Fuzz!
~Donatella

Friday, January 02, 2004 2:43 PM
My sincere compliments to Mama Nez. Very well written.

WM

And my sincere apologies for not posting this compliment earlier. Mama Nez can write smut, huh?!
~Donatella

Sunday, January 04, 2004 3:28 AM
Here's a delightful little snippet that I thought Our Bellisima Dona Might get a kick out of...

I was enjoying a yummy fruit salad in the Museum Cafeteria,with My Designer /oldest Pal Todd, a few days back when,
Some guy came up and asked," Have you found Jesus?"
Before I could swallow my pineapple, Todd says,"Aw, Shit, Have you People lost Him AGAIN? Damn It, He was A Jew, So Check The local Synagougue, He could be there, what is it with you Christians Losing your Mesiah, anyway?

my Deities are right where I need them,
and on went the diatribe,
I try not to revel in other's simplicity, but I could have sworn this was scripted,
It was Hella Fun, to backlash the annoying .

<---Bows Down,
Lightly sprinkling rose petals,,,

jax

LOL! Very funny! Thanks for that little pick-me-up, Jax. Oh, and not quite enough rose petals.
~Donatella

Chat tonight!
9pm EDT
Donatella987 on AOL IM

Wednesday, January 07, 2004 4:44 AM
Dear Fuzzy,
Be careful what you ask for,
I may post more if prompted....
Im pretty sure none of us want that,

I call 'em as I see 'em

Jax

Oh, nonsense - post all you want, girl!
~Donatella

Wednesday, January 07, 2004 3:56 PM
hi there i feel my voice of greatness should be heard by all on BB,(ok,my idiot rambles anywho)
just felt like saying New Year sucked as did Christmas (anyone else think Santa's a sex ofender)
also a dream i had mike,peter naked fucking each other with dildos the size of steriod pumped cucumbers, nipple clamps and candle wax mmmmmmmm
now i'm bored so i'm going to start an arguement with whoever cares (which is proberbly nobody) Peter is by far sexier then Micky some one must agree how about you LITTLE MISS RIDER
and yes i always sign my name along with the word PEACE and just in hope i piss someone of i will sign this slightly difrent

PEACE AND LOVE

CLIARE ENNIS

I always have that dream, sans the P person, which by the way, just happens to be a woman!
~Donatella

Wednesday, January 07, 2004 5:49 PM
SORRY JUST A THOUGHT LITTLE RED RIDER WOULD YOU BE INTRESTED IN JOINING FORCES WITH ME ME AND MAKING THE BB A MIKE AND PETER LOVE NEST COME ON WE CAN TAKE EVERY ONE ON EXEPT DONA FOR SHE IS THE WORD OF GOD ON THE LIPS AND HEARTS OF ALL SEXUALLY ACTIVE PERVERTED DILDO LOVERS
SORRY FUZZY PETER IS SEXUALLY BETTER THEN MIKCY EVEN IF MICKY WAS ARMED WITH A HIGH POWED DILDO
PEACE AND LOVE
CLAIRE ENNIS (NOW TO BE KNOWN AS LITTLE BO PEEP)
LONG STORY

LITTLE BO PEEP

Claire darling, if you're going to post here please refrain from the all caps or all lower-case, and throw in some punctuation so we can understand what the fuck you're talking about. There's also something called a spellchecker - use it!
~Donatella

Saturday, January 10, 2004 11:44 AM
LOL that is funny Jax! sorry i missed the chat, did i miss anything good? hopefully next time. Happy New Year all!

mickysgirl

Didn't I wish you a happy New Year already? Try tonight's chat at 9pm (eastern time).
~Donatella

Saturday, January 10, 2004 5:04 PM
it just shows how sad people are in here u actually sit critising the
monkees what is ur problem you all need a fuckin life.im a huge
monkee and when u diss them by saying their humpin' each other
and basically calling them gay .im steppin' in on their side. there is
nothin' wrong wit the monkees they are perfectly straight RIGHT
and another think what is this looking for pics you can put caption
on like what is mike and micky! doing behind that paper!!!!!!!
sad sad sad low-lifes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

monkees fan

Oooooh baby - been a long time since we had one of these, huh gang? Have fun!

As for moi.... I have a little something called a sense of humor. I do realize that many unfortunates are devoid of such intellectual gifts; this lack usually goes along with things like ignorance, intolerance and the incapacity to use language in a proper fashion so that other's might understand WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!
~Donatella

Sunday, January 11, 2004 11:35 PM
This was posted to the Monkees Alert List:

**Micky Q&A Session**
Broadway.com is now accepting questions from fans that will soon be answered by Micky Dolenz as a part of their "Ask A Star" section. Visit
http://www.broadway.com/template_1.asp?CI=33287&CT=4 to send Micky your questions!

Maybe if enough of us write in and ask him if he misses being fucked by Mike, he'll answer. But then, I wouldn't trust him to tell me the right time of day...

- LT

I've never even heard of Broadway.com, but what a great opportunity to fuck with Mick's head. I urge everyone to write today!
~Donatella

Monday, January 12, 2004 12:49 AM
Goddess, all though I may be tied and whipped for questioning you, where are the posts? A gal needs something to live on ya know? I know you're busy, but show mercy. I'm fiending for new posts!!

WM

I'm sorry. I've been real busy lately, but I promise to try harder... next week.
~Donatella

Tuesday, January 13, 2004 2:56 PM
sorry to bother you but i was wondering where abouts you are as the chat starts at 9.00 if and your in america it will start a diffrent time then if your in england (where im from) just so i wont be sitting here at 9.00 and I.Ming myself that would be weird.thanks
peace and love

claire

Hi again, Claire. I am in good ole New York City, hence the Eastern Time. See ya then.
~Donatella

Chat Night
9pm (eastern daylight time)
AOL IM:  donatella987

Smut Alert!

Believe it or not, there's a new chapter to the RR that was started by HMC last year.  Let's give a big thanks to Erin for starting this up again with chapter 2 of "Nurse Micky".

Wednesday, January 14, 2004 3:45 AM
Dona, May I? Please??
<takes a deep breath< >cracks neck kung fu style<
Aw-ight Lil Cuz,
A: hate the game, not tha Playa,
you are all up in our grill, like you caught us shopping at target while you are checking out your new wardrobe, know what Im sayin? Y'all can holla all y'all want, but do not try to punk the BBox, have you met my Homie Fuzz-Y?
this bitch is a junkyard Dog, Dawg. So either raise the fuck up on out , or learn to pimp proper.
And My Mistress D, aw Hell naw!!!! This dom has got my back, so I gots hers. So I suggest you hop skip and jump yo punk ass back to the suburb you learned to speak ebonics at, lurk for a bit, and come back aksting fo fogivness, and maybe, us Shorties will allow you to beg at the feet of our Mistress D.
Beleive Dat,
Tell you what, y'all want to front like you a gangsta bitch, I'll take you to the Cass Corridor in Detroit, leave yo ass , and if you there when I get back, then I'll have some mad props.
PEACE!

jax

Damn, Jax. I didn't know you spoke gangsta! It may be better than your English. Thanks for your very original anti-bash bashing.
~Donatella

Wednesday, January 14, 2004 4:03 AM
A More Elegant Response

My Dear Little One, are you on some new experimental meds, that may have some side effects?

That's so sad, your little sense of humour has been reduced to laughing in the dark at Ernest Goes To... movies.
Lurk for a while, and you can post again without shame. I did. But,never, ever insult Our High Priestess, I suggest you read the past posts, and you will understand she is Goddess-like in her compassion. And the spell check is a good thing, no matter how under the influence you may be.
Can anyone post a pic to jar monkeefans sense of humour?
I'm thinking another run of Mike & Micky In Bed behind the daily news, and lets all write captions, the shit is funny,
and you know this, unless of course you are latent and crazy...

jax

Wow, I understood everything in this post! Even your English is getting better, Jax. Obviously, you're on the "good" meds these days, which, by the way, proves your point completely.
~Donatella

Wednesday, January 14, 2004 1:50 PM
Hehe, what's great about flamers is that NONE of them can spell or speak coherently.

What sucks about flamers is that they never grace a board with their presence more than once, so they will never know that they had their asses schooled by respective board Godesses.

How goes life in the Big Apple, Dona? Why exactly is it called the Big Apple anyway?

HMC

As always, lil sis hit the nail on the head in explaining the pro's and con's of the flamer phenomenon. As for the origin of the Big Apple...

In the early years of the nineteenth century, refugees from war-torn Europe began arriving in New York in great numbers. Many were remnants of the crumbling French aristocracy, forced to seek refuge abroad from the dread "Monsieur Guillotine." Arriving here without funds or friends, many of these were forced to survive, as one contemporary put it, "by their wits or worse."
One of these, arriving in late 1803 or early 1804, was Mlle. Evelyn Claudine de Saint-Évremond. Daughter of a noted courtier, wit, and littérateur, and herself a favorite of Marie Antoinette, Evelyn was by all accounts remarkably attractive: beautiful, vivacious, and well-educated, and she was soon a society favorite. For reasons never disclosed, however, a planned marriage the following year to John Hamilton, son of the late Alexander Hamilton, was called off at the last minute. Soon after, with support from several highly placed admirers, she established a salon -- in fact, it appears to have been an elegantly furnished bordello -- in a substantial house that still stands at 142 Bond Street, then one of the city's most exclusive residential districts.

Evelyn's establishment quickly won, and for several decades maintained, a formidable reputation as the most entertaining and discreet of the city's many "temples of love," a place not only for lovemaking, but also for elegant dinners, high-stakes gambling, and witty conversation. The girls, many of them fresh arrivals from Paris or London, were noted for their beauty and bearing. More than a few of them, apparently, were actually able to secure wealthy husbands from among the establishment's clientele.

When New Yorkers insisted on anglicizing her name to "Eve," Evelyn apparently found the biblical reference highly amusing, and for her part would refer to the temptresses in her employ as "my irresistable apples." The young men-about-town soon got into the habit of referring to their amorous adventures as "having a taste of Eve's Apples." This knowing phrase established the speaker as one of the "in" crowd, and at the same time made it clear he had no need to visit one of the coarser establishments that crowded nearby Mercer Street, for instance. The enigmatic reference in Philip Hone's famous diary to "Ida, sweet as apple cider" (October 4, 1838) has been described as an oblique reference to a visit to what had by then become a notorious but cherished civic institution.

The rest, as they say, is etymological history.

The sexual connotation of the word "apple" was well known in New York and throughout the country until around World War I. The Gentleman's Directory of New York City, a privately published (1870) guide to the town's "houses of assignation," confidently asserted that "in freshness, sweetness, beauty, and firmness to the touch, New York's apples are superior to any in the New World or indeed the Old." Meanwhile, various "apple" catch-phrases -- "the Apple Tree," "the Real Apple," etc. -- were used as synonyms for New York City itself, which boasted (if that is the term) more houses of ill repute per capita than any other major U.S. municipality.

William Jennings Bryan, though hardly the first to denounce New York as a sink of iniquity, appears to have been the first to use the "apple" epithet in public discourse, branding the city, in a widely reprinted 1892 campaign speech, as "the foulest Rotten Apple on the Tree of decadent Federalism." The double-entendre -- i.e., as a reference to both political and sexual corruption -- would have been well understood by voters of the time.

The term "Big Apple" or "The Apple" had already passed into general use as a sobriquet for New York City by 1907, when one guidebook included the comment, "Some may think the Apple is losing some of its sap." Interestingly, the phrase had also become pretty well "sanitized" in the process, thanks to a vigorous campaign mounted just after the turn of the century by the Apple Marketing Board, a trade group based in upstate Cortland, New York. Alarmed by sharply declining sales, the Association launched what some believe to be the earliest example of what would now be called a "product positioning campaign."

By devising and energetically promoting such slogans as "An apple a day keeps the Doctor away" and "as American as apple pie!" the A.M.B. was able to successfully "rehabilitate" the apple as a popular comestible, free of unsavory associations. It is believed that the group also distributed apples to the poor for sale on the city's streets during the Great Depression (1930-38). No convincing documentary evidence has been produced to support this, however.

-- Society for New York City History

~Donatella

Saturday, January 17, 2004 5:11 PM
I'm deprived!! I don't think I have ever had to contend with a anti-slash fan before. Ho-hum, the mind wanders. I mean why post? What is the point, you either read it or you don't and don't even get me started on the spelling! I think we need to bring this girl to her senses and get her back in high school (although she is probably still there). Who knows, maybe she will learn to write so meticulously that she may find her niche in smut!!!

love and hugs
erin
;@)

Well said, Erin dear. But try not to ponder too much on the why's of flamers, just enjoy them while they're here.
~Donatella

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